


Boueibu Saves Earth Once Again!

by CursedFics666



Category: Binan Koukou Chikyuboueibu | 美男高校地球防衛部, Boueibu
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-07
Updated: 2015-01-07
Packaged: 2018-03-06 12:36:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3134726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CursedFics666/pseuds/CursedFics666
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone's gay and it's a party</p>
            </blockquote>





	Boueibu Saves Earth Once Again!

My name is Ryuu Zao and it’s been about a week since some pink hairy thing came out of absolutely nowhere and started yelling at us to do random things all in the name of love. Everything I do now is in the name of love. Even yesterday when I told Naruko-kun that I was going to use the bathroom, the pink anime Barney slowly moved to my ear and whispered “…with love.”

 

Wombat: MINNA-SAN, DESTROY YOUR ENEMY WITH THE OVERWHELMING SUPER EXTRAORDINARY EXOTIC EXCITING FANTASTIC FABULOUS MEGA EXTREME SUPERFLUOUS TOP-NOTCH ADVANCED AMAZING SUGOI POWER OF LOVE!!

We all looked down at our enemy… a recycled water bottle that missed the recycling bin by a few centimeters.

Hakone: LOVE MAKING… WITH THE HEART OF A SHOTA AND THE POWER OF LIGHT TO LIGHT UP THE DARKEST ROOM WHILE READING AN R18+ YAOI DOUJINSHI AT 3 IN THE MORNING, BATTLE LOVER SCARLET!

Yufuin: LOVE MAKING… WITH THE POWER OF BODY SWEAT THAT IS PRODUCED FROM READING A REALLY GOOD YAOI MANGA AND THEN REALIZING THAT THE NEXT CHAPTER HASN’T BEEN TRANSLATED YET TO YOUR LANGUAGE, BATTLE LOVER CERULEAN!

Kinugawa: LOVE MAKING… WITH THE POWER OF A COOLING WIND YOU FEEL AFTER YOU OPEN A WINDOW WHEN YOU FINISH READING THAT REALLY GOOD YAOI MANGA AND YOUR SWEAT STILL LINGERS, BATTLE LOVER EPINARD!

Naruko: LOVE MAKING… WHEN YOU FALL TO THE EARTH AFTER HEARING THAT THE REALLY GOOD YAOI MANGA IS GETTING AN ANIME, BATTLE LOVER SULFUR!

Zao: LOVE MAKING… THE BEAUTIFUL FLAME THAT IGNITES YOUR SOUL AND ASSHOLE WHEN YOU FINALLY GET TO WATCH THAT YAOI ANIME, BATTLE LOVER VESTA!

Unison: FEEL THE POWER OF… GAY SEX!

Wombat: IT’S THE POWER OF LOVE!

Unison: POWER OF LOVE!

Hakone: UNDERSTOOD. LET THE POWER OF LOVE AND THE POWER OF SHOUNEN-AI COME TOGETHER AND BRING FORTH THE POWER BLAST OF LOVE THAT LIGHTS THE SKYS OF ALL OF THOSE AROUND US AND FILL THE DAYS TO THE TOP WITH THE LOVELY POWER OF GAY SE- LOVE!

We all combined our power and Hakone’s love stick got some decorations added on to it like when you go to a piercing place and get a couple dong rings but that’s unimportant what happened was the water bottle was destroyed.

Wombat: EARTH IS SAFE ONCE AGAIN!

Unison: HURRAY!

 

However, unknowing to the Earth Defense Club…

 

Gero: Tch, again the Earth Defense Club has foiled our plans.

Arima: No matter… next time we’ll put TWO water bottles.

Kusatsu: Ingenious, that will show the Earth Defense Club that the Earth Conquest Club shall stand forever tall!

Zunda: Why stop at two, when we can do three… or four… or even five.

Kusatsu: Brilliant, with you on our side we shall rule the Earth!

 

~The next day~

 

Naruko: Hey Ryuu wanna fuck in the name of love?

Zao: Hell yeah let’s do it after school.

 

~After school in the club~

 

Naruko: Hey everyone Ryuu and I are gonna fuck bye.

Wombat: NOT YET, MY SENSES ARE TINGLING

Hakone: You mean your yaoi senses?

Wombat: THOSE ARE GOING OFF TOO BUT THIS IS A DIFFERENT SENSE, AN ENEMY IS NEARBY!

Unison: gasp

Wombat: Listen closely… 

“ I… don’t want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need. I don’t care about the presents, underneath the Christmas tree. I just want you for my own… more than you could ever know. Make my wish come trueeeee…… All I want for Christmas… Issss… Youuuuuuu. *bells* *bells* I don’t want a lot for Christmas there is just one thing I need (and I) don’t care about the presents, underneath the Christmas tree”

Kinugawa: Is that music?

Yufuin: I think that’s Mariah Carey.

The door to our club flew open and giant water bottles doing the Mariachi appeared before us.

Wombat: EVERYONE TRANSFORM!

Hakone: I DON’T REMEMBER WHAT I SAID EARLIER. I’M GAY AND I THINK MY ATTRIBUTE IS LIGHT. BATTLE LOVER SHOUNEN-AI PROTAGONIST!

Yufuin: RIDE THE WAVES OF YAOI, BATTLE LOVER SECONDARY-CHARACTER!

Kinugawa: COOL YOURSELF DOWN WITH REFRESHING WIND AND PROBABLY A PEPSI, BATTLE LOVER MAIN-CANON-OTP-WITH-YUFUIN!

Naruko: STICK YOUR HEAD IN THE GROUND AND GET AWAY FROM ME, BATTLE LOVER MONEY!

Zao: 420 BLAZE IT, BATTLE LOVER JUST-PLAIN-GAY!

Unison: WITH THE POWER OF OUR LOVE FOR YAOI, SOMETHING SOMETHING… WE UNITE AND THE POINT IS YOU GO BYE-BYE!

Hakone: TASTE THE LIGHT OF MY LOVE STICK!

Yufuin: TASTE MINE TOO, TASTE THE POWER OF TWO LOVE STICKS!!

The blasts combined and knocked a water bottle out.

Water Bottle-san #1: Nooo… I have been defeated…

Kinugawa: THERE’S STILL TWO WATER BOTTLES LEFT, WIND ATTACK OF LOVE, GO!

Water Bottle-san #2: No I have children I can’t die like this………

Hakone: THERE’S STILL ONE LEFT WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!

Naruko and Zao: TASTE THE FURY OF TWO HORMONAL HIGH SCHOOL BOYS WHOSE SEX LIFE HAS BEEN DISTURBED

Water Bottle-san #3: This is the end for me……………………………

Unison: Yay Earth Has Been Saved!!!

Earth Conquest Club (in the distance): God damn it.

Hakone: What was that?

Earth Conquest Club (still in the distance): Fuck.

Naruko and Zao: What a good idea, let’s.

And so they went home and fucked the end


End file.
